We’re pleased to announce our humorous and witty Backcountry Breakups Contest Winner: Jennifer Hughes! Thanks to all who took the time to enter. It was tough to pick a favorite, but Jenn’s story had us giggling throughout and in the end we’re suckers for humor. Without further ado, we present our Backcountry Breakup Tale courtesy of Jenn.
It began before we even left..
He informed me that he definitely wanted to go on a two night, three day backpacking trip in beautiful Central Oregon…but “could you get everything ready for us?” (Mental note: Strike 1).
And continued on the drive over…
On our drive over the pass, the conversation turned to buying a new car. “Not to beat a dead horse, but I really do not like this car.” “This” car he referred to was my car. It wasn’t good enough for him in any way. Aesthetically? Ugly. Comfort? His ass hurt after sitting for five minutes. Luxurious? Not by a long shot. This reoccurring conversation had been happening for two years. I was tired of it and in no mood to discuss buying a new car while driving up windy, twisty roads to our weekend backpacking trip. An argument ensued, and he told me I was irrational, not cooperative, and unsupportive. (Mental note: Strike 2).
Not to be without trials on the trail…
We arrived to the trailhead in better moods, put on our backs, and began hiking. Ten miles later and constant pain in the foot (note: never wear brand new boots for the first time on a long backpacking trip), we discovered we were going the wrong way. “I had a feeling we were going the wrong way. My Garmin said we were traveling NE and I knew we were supposed to be going NW,” he said. Hmmm….why didn’t you say something??(Strike 3).
And wrapped up on the way home…
When we returned to our car two days later, mice were scurrying in the back seat. His recent award from work was eaten through, as were his socks and umbrella. I smirked and thought, “that’s what you get for leaving an open bag of peanuts in the car in the wilderness.” (Strike 4).
Note: Strike 4 was punishment enough. But we can pretend that I dumped him on the car ride home for his inconsiderate ways and his stupidity on the trail.
Photo: Me. And what I wanted to do to him many times during the trip.